I want to stroll over Heaven with you.

So, I went to sleep last night praying.  I talked to God and told Him that I would love to see my Grant and to hold him.  Well, this falls into that "Be careful what you pray for" cagegory.  Early this morning I drempt of my sweet boy. He was standing in front of me smiling as cute as he could.  I looked at him and said, "Grant, I don't care how big you are now, I'm going to pick you up and squeeze you when I hug you!" I grabbed him and he jumped into my arms and I hugged him so tight for what seemed like an hour.  I could feel his hair on my face.....he was so big and so strong in my arms....I could feel him smiling with me....

I miss my son.  This is just a reality that I live with every day.  I realize that others miss him in the depths of their soul too and that I am not alone.  He was my only son, my first-born child.  He looked like me.  We were connected in such a special way because God blessed us with each other. Every day without him is filled with memories of things we did together. Every milestone that Rebekah achieves makes me think about the time when he did the same thing.  Life is now bittersweet; nothing quite holds the same amount of joy as it used to.  Grant is not here and part of me has died too.  Today I lit a candle in rememberance of him.  Here is a picture of it lit beside a photo of the two of us when Grant was 5 years old.

Today, I'm looking forward to Heaven a little big more.  I miss my little man.  I can't wait to see him when I finally get there.  He was a beautiful blessing from God and I am thankful for every day I had with him.  I only wish I had more.  Please pray for my peace and for my strength today.